Communication Skills

First and foremost, communication involves a person giving a message and one or more persons receiving a message. Though it’s not normally realised or practised, the onus of successfully communication lies with the sender and not with the receiver(s). Before we go in detail on that let’s understand what a message has that we use for communication.

A message has the following parts:
* Whom it is intended to — who are the recipients of the message
* Message medium — the medium, language or codes that are used in the message
* Message context — the context under which the message is being given and
* Actual message — the actual message itself

Let me explain these in greater detail.

Whom it’s intended to: While communicating we need to be clear to whom it is meant to. And we must compose our message accordingly. This is the example I always give. Suppose, you are walking in the office and somebody comes and asks you “what’s the project status”. Now if that somebody can be a colleague from a different project, could be a team member in the same project, could be your team lead, your manager or even your CEO. Now based on who is asking you need to respond to the same question differently. Obviously when the CEO asks, you are not going to talk about all the technical difficulties you are facing or about the defects you are working etc. Thus the communication has to cater to who it is intended to.

Message Medium: Now based on who is receiving it we need to choose the appropriate medium, language or codes to communicate. As simple as you cannot give a message to your housekeeping person (who doesn’t understand English) in English or to your foreign colleague in your native language. Choosing appropriate medium is important to communicate.

Message Context: Many a time, there is a context associated with any interaction and so for communication. We cannot just assume the context we have will also be available with the receivers. They may be aware or not aware of it. Thus composing our messaged based on the context that receivers have or the context in which the message has to be understood must be given. This context can also be cultural. As an example, long back when I was sent to US for a project, I used to work from home. One day my project lead from the client company called me for some clarification and I had few questions to him. Looking for appropriate information in his notebook, he wanted me to wait a moment and said “hang on”. I promptly hung up the call. Then he called me and asked why I cut the call (which is considered very rude in US). I told him that he only asked me to hang-up. Then he said he only said hang-on, asking me to wait. Now you understand.

Actual Message: After all the above comes the actual message. Once one has carefully understood the above, then compose the actual message accordingly and thus the receivers will actually receive and understand. The rule of thumb, I normally use in the actual message is to
* say what are you going to say
* say want you want to say
* say what you have said

Thus emphasising appropriately so that the message is received correctly and understood.

There are few other aspects we need to pay attention in our communication:
* Body language and tone must be appropriate (in verbal communication) which is matching to what we are saying. Some times more than the words these only will communicate the intended message (this is part of the Message Context)
* Sometimes, the same message has to be communicated differently to different people based on their personality etc. The choice of words must suit to make the receiver listen and get the message
* The focus of communication is to ensure the message is understood without offending the person and the choice of words we use play an important role in that. We can say the same thing in a negative way or a positive way. For example, instead of saying “why have you done that?”, we could say, “you could have done this?”

Few tips in written communication:
* All caps means you are shouting that part of the sentence. Unless you intended that, don’t use all caps.
* In written communication say what you are ready to tell the recipients verbally. Just because, they are not in front of you, using bad words is not right
* Use emphasising appropriately to convey the importance of some words or parts of the sentence.
* And if possible use the Emojis to communicate the feelings

So, in brief, understand whom we are communicating, using an appropriate media, setting the context thus the message is received appropriately. Use the appropriate body language and tone.

Finally, remember, sometimes silence communicates all we want to !!

Hopefully, I have communicated correctly as per what I am preaching.